Length: 1h 25min Released: 17 August 2018 Genre: Adventure, Drama, Fantasy Rating: PG Where I Got It: Netflix SUMMARY: A young reporter and his niece discover a beautiful and enchanting creature they believe to be the real little mermaid.
TRAILER:
REVIEW: This has been a movie I've been curious to watch since it first came out. I had forgotten about it until it popped up on my Netflix. I gave it a shot and well...yeah. The story follows Cam and his niece. Cam's niece is sickly and he hears about these "healing waters" in Mississippi that is rumored to help. Since he is a reporter he convinces his boss that he could find a story down there. They agree to let him go and what he discovers is much more than a circus with healing waters. Ooooo the beginning was so good. The first few minutes had me glued to my seat. However, things fell apart. The story and concept were interesting. But the acting and the screenwriting was lame. What really cemented this for me was Elizabeth's little signing part. Ugh. She was a good singer, but goodness....so lame. So cheesy. Normally cheesy doesn't bug me too much, but this was filled to the brim. I wanted to turn it off, but then I wanted to hope that it would be worth it in the end. Nope. Nope. Nope. It just got worse and worse. Sighs. In the end, this was not for me. It was too cheesy. The acting and screenwriting were terrible and I cringed my way through the last hour. I'll give this 1 star.
Author: T.C. Wescott Title: Slay Bells (Christmas Village Mystery #1) Genre: Mystery Pages: ebook Published: November 23rd 2018 Where I Got It: My shelf (Netgalley)
‘Twas the week before Christmas and all through the village, the night settled in over swirling-smoke chimneys; the air was alive with pine and holly, with sugar and cinnamon and cider, by golly! Along snowy lanes and through shadows it crept, past windows behind which each villager slept, where sleeping dogs lie and cats rest a’purring— Tonight, in Christmas Village, a killer is stirring. Welcome to Christmas Village, a magical hamlet where even in December the roses hold their luster and bees buzz among the bluebells. You’re just in time for the week-long Christmas Festival, and nowhere is Christmas celebrated with such unrestrained merriment as the village which bears its name. Mayor Cobblestone and Sheriff Fell will be somewhere nearby, doing all they can to make sure you’re safe during your stay. Provided you haven’t booked a room at Plum Cottage. Nestled betwixt an opulent garden with meandering footpaths and an ancient grove of plum trees, Rose Willoughby’s boarding house is plum-full with lodgers. There are no vacancies but just wait. Soon there will be one…and another…and another. Presently lodging at the cottage are: the juggler, the acrobat, the magician, the psychic, the strongman, the manager, and the pretty assistant. In town as festival entertainment they’ve each brought their own bag of tricks. And a closetful of skeletons.
When the entertainers begin dying in inexplicable ways, some villagers believe a beast from old village lore is the culprit. The sheriff knows better, but he’s just as helpless to catch the invisible killer as are the town folk with their eyes to the sky in search of a flying creature. But our mysterious murderer hasn’t counted on yet another lodger coming to the cottage: Maribel Claus.
Christmas and mysteries. Yes, please! The story is set ion Christmas Village that is simply magical. At the lodge in town, murders begin to happen and the sheriff is clueless on what to do. He gets Maribel Claus to assist him to track this murderer down. Will they be able to find the murderer before Christmas or before things get out of hand? I want to visit this town (sans murder of course). What a fun and magical place! This would be a fun place to hang out during the Christmas week. So pretty! The townsfolk seem like fun too even though they are all useless, especially the sheriff, without Madame Claus. I didn't mind Maribel Claus, but she seemed too knowledgeable about people she didn't even know. Maybe she is magic too ;) I felt bad for the Sheriff. So dumb, so dumb. But yes, I didn't really connect with anyone. That was my biggest downfall for this book. I just didn't care as much as I wanted to. I just felt like I was along for the ride and didn't really connect with anything. Not the author's fault. The writing was done well enough. I just didn't really get into it like I normally do with mysteries! The mystery did seem obvious but not obvious at the same time. I had my guesses who the murder was. I realized who it was after about the halfway mark. However, I wasn't too sure. My first guess had been wrong. Super, duper wrong. The book dragged at the beginning until a certain event happened and then I was drawn in. I was worried there for a bit. I wanted to DNF, but I hung on and then what happened happened and I had to know the truth. Overall, this wasn't bad. I enjoyed the mystery, but I didn't love this book. I didn't connect with anyone and I felt like it dragged too much at the beginning. I am curious to see what else this author has. Maybe more mysteries in this interesting town! I'll give this 3 stars.
Author: Nick Offerman Narrator: Nick Offerman, Wyatt Cenac, John O’Hurley, Maria Bamford, David Spade, Patton Oswalt, Natasha Leggero, Lewis Black, Tommy Chong, Nick Thune, Tony Hale, Phoebe Robinson, & Brent Weinbach Title: Bedtime Stories for Cynics Genre: Fiction, Comedy, Fantasy, & short stories Pages: Audiobook Published: November, 2016 Where I Got It: My shelf (Audible)
The closest you'll get to having Parks and Recreation's Ron Swanson read you a bedtime story, this sharp and silly series features inappropriate children's stories for adults only – performed by masters of the comedic arts. This came with “12” episodes. Such a fun format. At the beginning of each one, Nick Offerman does a little intro. At the end of some of them, he will say a couple of words too. He was funny as per normal. Such a fun collection. Ep. 1 ‘Goodnight Ambien’ read by Wyatt Cenac Hilarious and clever. I do think this was Nick Offerman’s best intro. The first is always hard to beat. It really does reflect the night of an insomniac. A good chuckle. The narrator of the story was very good and he made it even better. “Good night every embarrassing memory from the last 15 years suddenly popping into my head…” That line did it for me! Hahahahahaha. So much truth. 5 stars Ep. 2 ‘Daddies’ read by John O’Hurley The intro was the second best. It was a close tie to the first one. This one was a hair sad. Funny, yes, but sad and has lots of truth to it. The narrator’s voice is one you’ll remember. I feel like he does everything. I want to listen to more from him. I bet he would do great at other audios. The ending fun a dark ending, but funny of course. 4 stars Ep. 3 ‘Goldilocks’ read by Maria Bamford Funny as per normal. It really reminded me of Ron Swanson from P&R. Some chuckles but overall, meh. The narrator was okay. I liked her different voices for all the characters. She is new to me, so I’m not familiar. The ending was the funniest part. Not a bad remake of the original. I’ll give it 3 stars. Ep. 4 ‘Heinz Linge and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day’ read by David Spade The intro was not as good as the others. But still pretty funny overall. David Spade is always a hoot. The story was good and a very interesting take on the story. Oooo Nazis. You evil bastards. But they are hilarious being the butt of jokes. Very funny overall. Guess even Nazis have bad days. LOL. Totally didn’t expect the ending. I’ll give this 4 stars. Ep. 5 ‘The Frog Prince’ read by Patton Oswalt Another just an okay intro. Not bad, but not as good as the others. Love the narrator. He makes me roll on the floor with laughter. His girl voice killed me with this one! Ugh. The whole frog story always bugs me (even when I was little I didn’t care for the story). This remake was a good one and how I would imagine the story would’ve really went. The ending was hilarious and the princess had it coming. 4 stars for this one. Ep. 6 ‘The Empress’ New Bangs’ read by Natasha Leggero Intro was okay. No issues. Funny, but a little underwhelming. It had its moments, but the rest didn’t really make me laugh. Loved the narrator though. She was good. I’ll give it 2 stars. Ep. 7 ‘Todd the Dragon Slayer’ read by Lewis Black The intro got me for some reason. I listened to it a couple of times. Simple, but good. This quote is what really gets me, because it rings so true, “If you find yourself offended by the language in this story, then you are a child. Congratulations. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t Fuck it up” The story was good as well. I listened to it a couple of times as well. Ooooo that dragon! Lewis Black, as per normal, entertaining and knows how to make everything hilarious! I want to listen more to him. 5 stars overall. Ep. 8 ‘The Turtle and the Rabbit’ read by Tommy Chong Oooo Nick Offerman. You make me laugh. This was good and the best part. The story was meh. The narrator just okay even though I find him funny normally. Super bummed. I’ll give it 2 stars. Ep. 9 ‘Casey in the Sack’ read by Nick Thune This was overall clever and had a couple of laughs (including the intro), but eh. Another meh one. I’ll give it 2 stars just for the cleverness. Ep. 10 ‘Open House’ read by Tony Hale Intro was okay. Ooo! What a fun and funny story. It is told in the format of a poem and it was clever. It was sad too, but overall sidesplitting. Poor Maggie and her hubbie! The ending was the cherry on top. I’ll give this 5 stars. Ep. 11 ‘The Very Thirsty Caterpillar’ read by Phoebe Robinson A good intro. Had me laughing. Very dark and informative. Eh. It had a few chuckles. The only good part was the fact about how darkly true this is. I totally get what they were after and I feel like it didn’t work well. The narrator did well though. I’ll give it 2 stars. Ep. 12 ‘Caramello’ read by Brent Weinbach HAHAHAHA “foot fetish”. Oooooh Nick Offerman. Eh. Another one that gave a few chuckles, but overall meh. I honestly zoned out near the end there. 1 star for this one. OVERALL This was funny even the meh ones still had some laughs. I’ll for sure re-listen to my favorites here and there since they are legit only a few minutes long. It was free and if you are a cynic and like darker, true, and inappropriate humor I would suggest listening to this collection. *does math*. I’ll round this out to about 3 stars. Worth the listen.
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Book Disappointments of 2018 Had a few this year...sighs....
Film Title: The Little Mermaid (2018)
